How Sephiroth Stole Christmas!
by ItachixEura4ever
Summary: What happens when Sephiroth gets fed up with Christmas? Note: I did NOT just take the poem and put his name in place of the Grinch. In fact this is not a poem at all. :3


Hey guys. I know this has already been done, but I still wanted to do it :3

Rate and Review please, and Merry Christmas!

Everyone in Midgar like Christmas a lot.

Except Sephiroth.

Sephiroth sat in his office with an irritated look on his face.

He _hated _Christmas. Earlier that day he had walked into the Shinra Building like

a thundercloud. Actually he usually did this, but this time his mood was even stormier.

His day was made worse when Reno, who could not take a hint to save his life, walked right up

to him and slapped a Santa hat on his silver-headed hair with a "Merry Christmas Seph!"

Sephiroth glowered down at the younger man. "Bah. Humbug." he snarled, snatching the hat off his head

and storming away to his office, slamming the door. "What's with him?" asked Zack.

Reno shrugged. "Who knows. Maybe his shoes are to tight." Genesis shook his head.

"No, his head is just not screwed on right." He explained. "I think," said Angeal, "That its because his heart is about two

sizes to small."

But whatever the reason his heart or his shoes, he sat there in his office hating _everyone._ He was renting

an apartment near a bar called 7th heaven, and visited daily drowning his annoyance in beer. If only that

stupid barmaid Tifa would stop trying to bring 'Christmas cheer' into his life. He swiveled around in his

chair to look out the office window. He glared out of it with a sour angry frown at the houses below.

For his irritated thoughts were dwelling on how everyone there was busy decorating their houses.

"They are hanging their stockings," he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas. It's practically here!"

Furiously he turned back to his desk and continued his work.

Later that evening he closed up his office- Shinra closed early on Christmas eve. He longed to be on a mission, one with plenty of

murder and destruction, but not one had come up. As he put on his long black trench coat and headed for the door, he overheard a conversation between Cloud and Reno.

Reno: "Yo Cloud what'cha doing for Christmas?"

Cloud: "Oh, Tifa is having some orphan kids over

at the bar for the night and they will spend it there.

The whole gang is helping out."

Reno: "Sounds fun. Bet the kids'll like that. Man I can't believe the Dragons lost last…"

Sephiroth had head enough. He stormed out the Shinra building angrier than ever.

All those children would be staying the night at 7th Heaven, right next to where he was staying. This was to much.

"For tomorrow I know," he muttered as he walked home. "All those little girls and boys will wake up bright and early, rush for their toys and then, all the noise noise noise!"

He sent a well-aimed kick at a passing stray dog as his anger increased. "The will shriek squeak and squeal, bang toy drums and sound toy trumpets,

shoot firecrackers and play noisy games, racing around and yelling at the top of their lungs." He passed 7th Heaven with a glare, and then reached his apartment.

He hung up his coat and then made himself a sandwich. As he sat down at the table he stared at it morosely, as he remembered: "Oh yes. Then all of them young and old will sit down to a feast."

He glowered at the sandwich. "And they will fest and they'll feast, and they'll feast feast feast feast!" His eyes suddenly almost turned red. "Then, knowing that Lockheart woman, they

will do something I hate most of all. They will gather around that stupid tree and

at the top of their lungs, they will all start _singing._" And the more the thought about it the more pissed off he became, if that was even possible. "That's it." he snarled.

"I must stop this whole thing. I must keep Christmas from coming. But how?" He stroked his chin with his fingers. Then he got an idea. an awful idea.

Actually, he got a _wonderful, _awful idea. "I know what I'll do. If I remove all of the said flotsam, all of the toys and the food and the tree, then how could they possibly celebrate Christmas?"

A horrible, (but sexy) smile spread across his face as another idea sprang to his head. "And, for a twist of irony…" Forgetting all about his sandwich he pulled out his cell phone.

"Genesis?" He inquired as the person on the other line picked up. "Let me borrow your Santa Clause costume. Never mind why. I will be there in a few minutes." and he hung up.

An hour later he arrived in a stolen car in front of 7th Heaven in a Santa Clause costume, the price of which had been Genesis taking a thousand pictures of him. Fortunately

he had managed to destroy the camera before he left. He looked at the bar. All the windows were dark, no-one knew he was there. They were

all fast asleep. "Odd for a bar to have a chimney, but whatever." He muttered as he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. This would be easier than trying to break in through the front door. Quieter too.

He could tell it would be a rather tight fit, but if Santa could do it then so could he. He snuck and crept

with a contemptuous smirk around the whole room, and took every present. He stuffed them in bags and quietly opened the door, and then stuffed all the bags into the car.

Then he crept to the kitchen and took every Christmas related dinner item he saw. He stuffed all the food bags into the car. "And _now,_" smirked Sephiroth, "I will stuff up the tree."

As he began to pick up the tree and wonder how he would get it into the car, he head a small gasp from behind him. He turned with a start and saw a small girl whose face he remembered but not her name. Marla? Marley?

She stared at him still dazed with sleep and said, "Santa Claus, why? Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?" A lie instantly sprang into his villainous mind. "Why my sweet little girl.

I noticed that all the lights on this tree have stopped working," he said, thankful that he had already pulled the plug. "I was just taking it off to fix it. When I am done I will bring it back."

Marlene, who could barley see straight for sleepiness, believed him. She stumbled back to bed and Sephiroth continued to remove the tree, deciding to tie it to the top of the car with the light cords.

Then, after removing a bottle of his favorite beer from its place, the old liar climbed into the car himself and drove to his apartment. Unable to suppress a snicker of mirth he looked to the sky. It was starting to pale with dawn.

"Woe to those fools. Soon they will find out that no Christmas Is coming." He sneered. "When they wake up I know just what they'll do. Their mouths will hang open a minute of two,

then all of those children will begin to weep loudly. _That_ is a sound that I wish to hear." He decided he would dispose the contents of the car later, and would go to the bar now.

When he arrived the first streaks of dawn had appeared in the sky. "They are surely awake by now."

He said, putting his ear to the wall. And he did hear a sound coming from the building. It started out low, then it started to grow.

"_Joy to the world, the Lord is come. Let earth_

_receive her King! Let every heart prepare him room,_

_and heaven and nature sing, and heaven and nature sing,_

_and heaven, and heaven and nature sing._

This sound was not sad. Why, this sound sounded…glad. Everyone in the building from Marlene to Vincent was singing. With ought any presents at all.

He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming, it came.

Sephiroth's mouth hung open with disbelief. "How could this be so?" he mused. "I made sure to deprive them of everything they could possibly use to celebrate Christmas."

Then suddenly he realized something.

"Perhaps…" he considered, "I removed only material things. And obviously to these people, Christmas means more." Despite himself Sephiroth found himself intrigued.

He now wished to learn more of this Christmas, which it now seemed he knew nothing about. Also, he realized there was something he needed to do. Sighing, he turned

and went back to his apartment.

Ten minutes later Sephiroth drove up to 7th Heaven. He got out slowly, walked up to the door, and knocked.

The sound of the singing stopped, and Tifa answered the door. "Sephiroth?" she said in surprise. Sephiroth

sighed and looked the other way. "I…took your things. They are there…in that car." he muttered a bit sheepishly, pointing to the car behind him. Tifa stared.

Sephiroth explained. "You all were still happy after I took everything. So I…" he trailed off. Tifa smiled knowingly. "The important thing is that you brought it all back. Now wont you join us for dinner?" she invited.

Sephiroth was even more surprised. "If I do, will you explain this Christmas business to me?" he asked. "Of course." said Tifa. "Come on in."


End file.
